East vs West rides again! Yo, whassup, suckah. Better duck!

This blog entry is humor – to me – life being stranger than fiction. It will be kind of like a puzzle to follow, especially to blogger types now totally used to reading end to beginning – cuz I’ve reversed the order. But having pasted in from a couple sources the formatting is crazy and I’m gonna leave as is – and one of my missives wasn’t saved in my sent file – so it appears piece meal in the reply. What this is is me trying to get a paying job zining and ending up in a flame war with the Editor in chief less than a week later. Can’t wait till this mag actually comes out so I can lambaste it using some of the guys own foot in mouth against him – or something – who knows if it will ever launch at all with a clown like this at the helm. All I can say is this – to whomever is actually reading this be it even perhaps Publisher Lee if you decide to see what happened between your boy and I – I may well be a talent less hack unable to write humor – but as the universe is my witness I guaranfuckingtee that the Binges rules over he Holograms by a factor of googolplex to one – believe it.




From : , SALVATORE CANZONIERI
Reply-To : , afistfulofrock@yahoogroups.com
Sent : , Monday, July 31, 2006 6:36 PM
To : ,
Subject : , Re: [Fistful of Rock] Re: Fw: ROCK MAGAZINE SEEKS COPY EDITOR, WRITERS
,
, , |, , |, , |, FISTFULLOF..., |, Inbox


{SAL – replying to Thomas}

Email them, not me.
Their email address is shown.
I just forwarded to this list.

Yes, it is paid, they are hiring a lot of people.

Sal

{Some guy Thomas in the Fistfullnewsgroup where I read this too}


----- Original Message -----
From: "Thomas"
To:
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2006 5:35 PM
Subject: [Fistful of Rock] Re: Fw: ROCK MAGAZINE SEEKS COPY EDITOR, WRITERS

Is it paid?

--- In afistfulofrock@yahoogroups.com, "SALVATORE CANZONIERI"
wrote:
>
> ROCK MAGAZINE SEEKS COPY EDITOR, WRITERS
> ----- Original Message -----


{Here’s the mag getting at Sal}
> From: Lo-Fi Entertainment
> To: salcanzonieri@...
> Sent: Tuesday, July 25, 2006 5:35 PM
> Subject: ROCK MAGAZINE SEEKS COPY EDITOR, WRITERS
>
>
> New Humor/Rock Magazine, TRASHED!, seeks COPY EDITOR
and WRITERS. First issue out this October -- this is a print
magazine with national distribution published by Lo-Fi
Entertainment. Please contact LeeSobel@... if interested.
>
> Bands - send us your CDs for review:
>
> Attn: Rondo Ratford
> TRASHED! Magazine
> 250 Washington Avenue, #C3
> Brooklyn, NY 11205
>
> Read more about TRASHED! at
www.lofientertainment.com/trashed
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
-------
> This email was sent to salcanzonieri@... by Lo-Fi
Entertainment
> Lo-Fi Entertainment, 250 Washington Avenue Brooklyn,
NY 11205



{Here’s my first tiny email to the mag}

I did a column for Flipside fanzine 87-01, and have plenty of experience writing reviews and proofing copy. Any gigs still available




>From: LeeSobel@aol.com
>To: shaneflipside@msn.com
>Subject: Re: jobs at rock mag
>Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2006 10:25:31 EDT
>
>
>In a message dated 8/10/06 10:20:27 AM, shaneflipside@msn.com writes:
>
>
> > I did a column for Flipside fanzine 87-01, and have plenty of experience
> > writing reviews and proofing copy. Any gigs still available?


{Here’s Publisher Lee’s first and only reply to me> >

>Shane - I totally loved the Shaneshit column in Flipside - I think you get
>our irreverent "we don't give a fuck but are having a great time so let's pop
>open a beer and get laid!!!" mentality.
>
>Do you remember my zine, LO-FI, I did in the 90's? It was a retro
>rockabilly/swing/lounge zine.
>
>We'd love to have you onboard - there's no pay tho. Still interested?
>
>We're looking for "name" bands to put on the cover, like Iggy & the Stooges,
>Misfits, the surviving Ramones, etc. Can you hook up a name band to do an
>interview with?
>
>Feel free to be in touch with Nick Gazin the editor in chief of TRASHED! at
>nick.gazin@gmail.com
>
>thanks!
>
>Best wishes,
>Lee Sobel, President
>Lo-Fi Entertainment - Talent Management, Promotion and Booking
>718-783-1776
>www.lofientertainment.com

{This is my reply to the Publisher followed by a rerun of my piece that ranin Big Wheel zine}


? I'm interested, though there's no money at the front end - though you do realize the place I found out about this - the Fistfull newsgroup that Sal Electric Frankie runs, said it was paid. Here's the dealie-o - you want an experienced writer who has his ears to the ground in Hollywood 24/7/365 - then I want the cover story with a long (thousands of words !) -- interview with a virtual unknown band (!!) Hear me out here - I'm gonna send you the one page profile and some photos as email attachment -- so don't be afraid to open that shit- - but check 'em out!

You want to come out new in the ultra-competitive field of music mags on the newsstand -- ? -- !! Then you do not want one of these so-called name bands that everyone has on their covers -- tired old men whose music may often BE great -- But who needs to see their mugs -- you need to have a band that is about to change rock as we know it -- and who is ultra photogenic too. The fiunny thingh is the int aint all that great -- don't get me wrong, it is good enough to print in its entirety -- I just have to finish transcribing it - but photos of them on the cover and surrounding the text of the int will SELL magazines -- this is one of the most photogenic bands in the history of rock - not cute but handsome - but so awesome musically as to deserve the roll of the dice - I swear though -- you do a full color cover of the Binges live tiger photo shoot they are doing next month (my buddy brainstormed it and their 'manager jumped on it -- but I have no financial ties -- I'm just a super fanwho believes) -- but of course I'll get a variey of ints and will end up with "names" by the second or third issue - but this is my pay -- you want me to slave over a hot keyboard for nothing -- then let me express myself and give me a contributing editor title - because what I plan to do is guide you stylistically when it comes to music - just that - I don't claim to be the Sculatti-type who wants to be the ultimate arbiter of " cool" - I just want to be able to have a Bangsian last word about what rock is snazzy and which rock is echhh -- we'll have to bag on some fools - maybe whole genres - but when someone deserves puppy liove type praise - then they deserve it - you'll see -- and you can forward this alll on to your editor --I take it you are the publisher. I semi-recall Lo-Fi, but I don't believe you comped me or that I subscribed - but I may gave bought an individual copy through Ajax or another distro . Did you sell them thusly? I wasn't much into the lo-fi of Sebadoh, Mountain Goats etc etc - Was that the main scene you covered? Anyhow - let me know - pics and the int will be ready by late Sept. if we want to use the live tiger photos (to play off theoir logo - these photos will probably yield the next release's cover as well . So you get the picture now!! I am still enthused about a position at a new mag because I see it as the prestige and the power of calling the shots (meaning a band willl be known critically with emphatic coverage ) as even more valuable then cash (as long as one isn't otherwise homeless or starving of course ) -- anyhow - get back to me soon!!

Decided to paste in the article that just appeared in Big Wheel - but the photos will have to be email attachments.

The Binges for Big Wheel August 2006by Shane Flipside

I think I’m partaking in a small miracle here. A way more important one than finding out that Ann Coulter has a mole shaped like a Hitler moustache; or that a new sect has sprung up to worship am image of Jesus, the carpenter, that appeared on a tortilla on a platter at my favorite taco joint — no — verily this miracle is more apropos of my/your/our/its/status: I rocker, you rocker, we rocker, it a damned rock mag you are holding in your hand — and take one second to notice the by-line cuz some of you kids will recall it from my salad days at Flipside zine. But see, that ain’t the part that’s a miracle — it is no miracle that I have returned to the fanzine trenches to fight the good fight — if anything the miracle is that it took me this long to get off my ass and compose some words for print — but thanks to my new family at Big Wheel, I’m back — to tell you about this miracle.
The miracle of finding a band so awesome I can run around like a nutty fan even doing the street team scene (well I would if they gave me a stack of stickers!). Rock and roll is teenage music not cuz only teenagers should play and/or listen — but in that it helps one maintain one’s teenage priorities – good or bad — you decide. – But the miracle? I’m finally gonna spit it out – this fucking awesome band The Binges is literally a fountain of youth. Watch me some time up at the front and tell me I’m not transformed – if not into a younger man at least into a man shamelessly throwing up the horns and screaming for more rock!! Yeah, so it is indeed a miracle that in all the months I’ve been reading Big Wheel ( I’ve been back in L.A. since last fall) and with how many shows The Binges have played (a lot) — that I am the first to get the privilege of featuring them in these pages. Let me tell you, anyone who recalls my Flipside interviews knows I like to do ‘em long and thorough - even with such a young and just starting out of a band (this line-up of theirs that is so perfect has only been going this year), but for right now let me just describe and introduce these guys to you —maybe the lengthy Q & A session, already completed, will appear at a later date or even in another zine.
There’s the sisters, Mayuko and Tsutzumi – the Okai sisters. For sure anytime you talk about The Binges with someone it is gonna come up — how amazing it is that these two cute Japanese gals are the dynamo that powers this band and the prodigies that have your jaws dropping. There have been umpteen great bands with Japanese females in them – no big deal there – but picture this – Tsutzumi, the 22 year old bassist – throws her foot out and gets serious like Lemmy – there is no tentative arty accenting of the song a la the clichés of a female bassist. Nope – Tsutzumi is the gal that makes sure the band never goes off the rocks she anchors it to – and no matter how heavy it gets or how wild the maelstrom — she has that foot planted and the song powers on and ends with everyone there feeling a warm rock and roll rush of camaraderie — and just a glad to be there and witnessing this type of feeling. And what’s the weather like and why is it as extreme as Katrina.
Well, howzabout Mayuko just being a natural phenomenon, a human eye of the storm she herself produces. The way I used to describe it was that she knew every riff I’d ever heard, and I’ve been listening to rock way close to forty years. Then, after interviewing her I found out all she likes to listen to is late ‘60s and early ‘70s British blues and acid rock – with the hard rock all the way up thru more modern [ha-ha] bands like Van Halen. She is a total rawker thru and thru – believes in it like a religion and takes power from the old stuff to fuel her guts. Cuz her playing is so gutsy — always bending the riff one more time and turning it inside out – never any studied perfect every time you hear it the same riffs from her, not a friggin’ chance. To say she is virtuoso is just a fact. To say that she literally can stand up with all the greats: Beck, Clapton, Page, etc. in giving off a performance where the guitar rawks and amazes throughout – well that’s my opinion and I bet yours too after you go check ‘em out.
Cuz dig it – the sisters ain't the only reason to get into the Binges – not by a long shot. The guys they play with just happen to complete a perfect line-up. When describing their appearance I like to think of Travis and Dylan as the lost generation of Cobain’s younger brothers – very grungy — and Travis even goes by Skanky. When he drums he looks almost in pain. Is it a look of constipation – or just determination. Either way, between his expression and the way he holds the sticks he not only gets the job done handily – but he looks like a cartoon — like he deserves to be on Saturday morning TV, entertaining all ages with the friendliest aspect of rock – cuz Skanky embodies that. Want a hug? Go see Skanky. Is he emo – fuck no! he’s just happy to have been there and played in another awesome Binges set.
Singer Dylan has given himself the grungy appellation/surname of Squatcho. Whatever dude – fact is I should challenge you to a duel at 20 paces – because you, my dear sir, are one of the I’ll take The Beatles over The Stones deluded. But in this case I’ll bow to your choice because that is most certainly the part of The Binges one notices when the first (not really released) record is dwelt upon. The songs, the lyrics go beyond any mere cleverness, say like that of an early days Costello. There is wit one wouldn’t expect to find over what is hard rock about being a sex drugs rock flag-waving band in the 21st century Hollywood. Dylan has class. He’s from Bakersfield so he grew up with both Buck Owens twang, and the sensibility that produced Korn (or their homies, their far superior predecessor Cradle of Thorns) — Jan Dylan splits the difference and gives you brit pop mixed with americana — without it even being recognizable as such cuz of the fact those tendencies can be buried beneath the hard, the rock, the punk – you see what I’m getting at here.
You go watch these guys and you become a true believer – so what’s one more miracle when the recorded versions bring in the whole other half of your brain: Jan Dylan squatcho my good old chap, I bow down again to you. You don’t need to worry about channeling the Stones when you have enslaved them to your will (witness your acquisition of the perfect lineup) and can devote all your attentuin to the nuances of the Beatles. Ha! And double Ha. Pretty easy work when your guitar player plays like a whole pantheon of rock gods and your rhythm section never misses a beat.
I’m going to reveal to the world the two catch phrases that animate The Binges: “Well shit, I would!” and “Get ‘er done.” Bring some vocal cords for shouting and singing along, and the rest of your body for dancing playing air guitar and throwing the horns. C’mon down and all hail The Binges. Man I must have good karma to stumble back into hollywood babylon and ‘discover’ The Binges. What propitious good fortune to hail my return to zinedom print with a feature on such a worthy subject. Binges rule, I aint no fool/don’t believe me, then go back to school you tool you aint cool!!!

SHOW INFO:

[This paragraph about Safari Sam's they edited out of the piece - which kind of pisses me off}

August 3rd at Safari Sam’s (I hope you readers checked out the interview last issue with the real Sam behind the club, and you’ve realized we need to do whatever to make Safari Sam’s last and thrive. So not only do you get to see a miraculously great band if you see them at this shows, but you’ll also be doing your part for a new club that needs to find the right clientele so acts like The Binges will belong there)!


{The publisher turned that stuff over to Editor Nicholas, and here is his initial reaction – that obviously boded ill!}

>From: "Nicholas Gazin"
>To: shaneflipside@msn.com
>Subject: Trashed Magazine
>Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2006 16:22:45 -0400
>
>Dear Shane,
>
>Hello, I'm teh Editor in Chief of Trashed Magazine. Lee forwarded
>me
>your e-mail. I must say it was fairly illegible. Is English a
>second language for you and if so where are you from? Are you
>interested in writing for us? Are you familiar with garage rock,
>punk
>or psychadelic music?
>
>--
>Best wishes,
>Nick Gazin
>
>Lo-Fi Entertainment
>phone: 718-636-7230
>fax: 718-636-7451
>www.lofientertainment.com


{Here I am back at him}

I can't believe I typed a long ass reply and lost it before sending - so I'm gonna try again - this being an important letter for both of us maybe. Yeah, I'm gonna do a word doc so I can edit and proof my letter, and then I'll paste it back in my outgoing to ya.

This is it:


So I don’t know what made you think English was my second language. And I don’t know if I should be flattered or annoyed, haha. Well that stuff was forwarded to you by your publisher, Lee. So I guess he thinks I can write and/or recalls the long-running column I did in Flipside – or the many interviews I did with bands or my record reviews etc etc. So, the answer is yes, yes and I actually bet I KNOW more about garage, punk, and psychedelic music’s and cultures.

Now as far as what I was getting at about The Binges – what I was saying was this: since this isn’t a paying position and I want to be on the masthead as a contributing editor or such – and I was virtually offered the cover story – then respect my instincts and hear what I’m saying – The way to do a great cover is to put something eye-grabbing – either beautiful or horrendous. Well, The Binges are extremely photogenic and there are a lot of pix of them extant and there for my/our usage. By virtue of the quality of their live shows, which I've been going to religiously since the first time they amazed me; I’ve already completed a long interview with them I just have to finish transcribing – so the color photos and an in-depth int are ready and raring to go – and the band knows this – they’re not shrinking violets – but neither are they stuck-up asshole. If you have time (what is the mags launch date?), maybe this feature can wait until you come to their Safari Sam’s show in mid-September, less than a month away. Seeing is believing). But I think you ought to welcome me with open arms and give me plenty of say-so – because you just aren’t going to get many writers with experience and personality wanting to work for free. I don’t want to , but I will. I know how to utilize a masthead position to get into clubs and get free cd’s – so I’m not sweating the small shit.

What I need is you guys to stand behind/with me on this (using a non-Name band for the opening cover) – but I’ve already thought of a plan B –multiple cover artists - collage from between 4 to 8 artists/bands all with a cover photo (portion of same, as the saying goes.) and I’ll get a panoply of up and coming LA bands, some with some name recognition amongst the cognoscenti.

You don’t need to explain what was weird about my writing – let me guess – my use of single or double hyphens (or one of the longer m dash is what I’d like to always use – I may set up a hotkey for that). Anyhow, I use it in place of other sentence punctuation because of my choice that it helps the stream of consciousness rendition. My influences are all the greats. My college term paper was on Burroughs and his cut-up technique and Kerouac and his version of spontaneous prose. Plus I can’t forget the king of gonzo, Hunter S. Thompson – I always am gonzo like it or not – it is just a form of solipsism. Then of course I’d like to think I belong in the pantheon with the deceased great, Lester Bangs and his still living contemporary R. Meltzer…. I happen to be acquainted with even some of the greats very peripherally (Burroughs wrote me three times in my life and R. Meltzer stayed in touch when he had his Hepcats from Hell radio show circa 79-80). So any weirdness is more or less intentional. What I try to be a stickler about is fact checking, The accuracy of a story is a good thing – I’m not gonzo enough to always want to have to jump up and embellish to make myself sound wild a la Thompson.

We’ll see, all I know is that you had good timing finding me or me finding you -- or whatever. Because I was just getting back into writing for zines -- and I started my blog where I can spit out the daily mish mash I can expand on elsewhere.

So get back to me if and when you feel like it, I don’t see why this letter will be clearer than the last (and by the way, neither can be ‘illegible’ because that only refers to handwriting that is hard to decipher. What you described was incomprehensibility of a sort and a degree). But no, I’m born and raised in LA, the Hollywood area. I’m a true local.

Hope to hear from you soon – and in the meantime can you check out my candidates for the cover at their myspace site [/thebinges].

Yours in punk,


Shane


{Below is Nick’s response, where it begins to be obvious we may not be thinking alike but…}


From : Nicholas Gazin
Sent : Saturday, August 19, 2006 9:25 AM
To : "Shane Flipside"
Subject : Re: RE: Trashed Magazine



|
|
| Inbox



Shane,

What is Safari Sam's? You can call yourself whatever you want if you
write for us as long as you don't steal my identity. If you want to
be the editing manager then you can be it.

I enjoyed the Binges music. I'd like to read your interview with them
and possibly put a track of theirs on the comp we're polybagging with
the magazine. We can't/won't put the Binges on the cover of our first
issue for a few strong reasons. Here's a quick list:

1 We're based in New York and no one from the East coast knows about
these guys. Trashed is being paid for by a booking company we deal
with local New York bands. Our release party is going to feature
performances by New York bands. If we cover a local band from another
locale they have to be something really amazing.

2 The Binges are not amazing. They may be amazing live but their
myspace mp3s are just good. They're good time rock and roll, but they
sound indistinuishable from about ten other bands that play around the
bar scene in New York. They are photogenic but not in the way we're
interested in. They look like they could all be models. We're more
interested in the GG Allins, Danzigs, Herschel Assfiends and Divines.

3 We've already paid an illustrator friend of mine to do a painting of
the Misfits beating each other up. We've done interviews with various
members of the Misfits and they're all laugh-out-loud funny because
the Misfits are total clowns and they don't know it.

4 Although the Misfits are embarassingly well tread territory, the
magazine's cover is an advertisement. It needs to be bold enough that
it stands out on a magazine rack at Tower Records and will cause
people to want to pick up and flip through the magazine. The Misfits
may be corny but people will pick up a Misfits cover. They have a big
name and are wearing costumes. Maybe that makes us sellouts but if
this magazine sits on the shelves then I'll get fired, the magazine'll
fold and I'll have to go back to working at a used bookstore.

I apologize for any typos or misused words in this or my previous
e-mail. I am replying to up to thirty queries from writing applicants
a day. We in fact get many experienced writers who want to work for
free and so far they've all been unusable because they write in
typical music journalist styles. This is not a magazine about making
people look cool or kissing rockstars asses. This is a magazine
that's meant to capture the irreverent danger of rock and roll, not
the sidelining wall flower adoring geek attitude of rock journalists.



{Now here is where it gets even more confusing – because I don’t have the full text of the next letter I sent him or the GG piece that was part of it – I can’t believe I didn’t save it – but he intersperses outtakes from my letter with his replies – so I’ll label each paragraph either S or N for Shane or Nicholas, capisc??}


>From: "Nicholas Gazin"
>To: "Shane Flipside"
>Subject: Re: Re: RE: Trashed Magazine
>Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:39:48 -0400
>
S:>Do you prefer Nick, Nicholas, boss or ?....
>
>N: MISTER MASTER WILL DO.
>
> S: Ever seen
>>Billy Whitfield's Toxic Flyer out of Baltimore
>
>N: NO, SHOULD I HAVE?
>
>S: You plan on being international in coverage though,
>>right – you better – since so much great music is from elsewhere!
>
>N: NO, JUST NATIONAL. FUCK THE REST OF THE WORLD.
>
>S: But here is the debate part – if you want to have a raunchy rock
>>mag you
>>can't be good- looks-aphobic – its liking being homophobic.
>
>N: WE ARE ALSO HOMOPHOBIC. EVEN THE GAY EMPLOYEES AND CONTRIBUTORS ARE
>HOMOPHOBIC. IT IS THE LAW OF TRASHED.
>
>>S: Jeff Clayton's footsteps, NY had The Toilet Boys
>
>N: THE TOILET BOYS ARE CORNY.
>
> S: So please do not hold that
>>element of good looks the Bnges possess against them.
>
>N: I DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE GOOD LOOKING. THEY LOOK LIKE MODELS. THEY
>LOOK LIKE A BAND YOU WOULD SEE THE CHARACTERS IN THE GILMORE GIRLS
>WOULD GO SEE PERFORM. WE'RE DOING A STORY ON THE HOLOGRAMS WHO ARE
>GOOD LOOKING AND FROM LA. THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE MODELS THOUGH.
>
>S: What I'm proposing now is a pop-up window on the
>>cover maybe that won't fit if the initial cover is an illustration
>>not
>>photo – but lets say you had The Misfits on the cover taking up
>>80/90 of
>>space – a pic of face shots that shows all 4 Binges
>
>N: THAT'S BAD DESIGN. IT WOULD DETRACT FROM THE QUALITY OF THE
>MAGAZINE
>AND AN INSULT TO THE ILLUSTRATOR. AND IF WE WERE GOING TO MAKE OUR
>COVER LOOK UGLY WE WOULDN'T DO IT FOR NO-NAMES, WE'D DO IT FOR THE
>NAME ACTS LIKE QUESTION MARK, JON SPENCER, THE FUZZTONES, THE CYNICS
>OR THE BLACK LIPS. BUT WE'RE NOT SO IT'S A MOOT POINT.
>
>S: As for the text of the int itself -- I will send it and we
>>can run it in its entirety and should - the way I prefer to do ints
>>even if
>>you shrink the print to accommodate how ever many pages you give
>>'em. – But
>>the main thing with them isn't how brilliantly they answered my
>>questions –
>>there's entertaining moments – but mainly it is filler for pics –
>>because
>>this band is all about how they sound and look and they have no
>>need to
>>pontificate – and are too young to be able to do so. Mayuko talks
>>thru her
>>guitar ala Jimi and her sis does the bass ala Lemmy and if that
>>ain't hard
>>enough – what is!!
>
>N: I NEED TO READ THE INTERVIEW TO SEE IF IT'LL WORK FOR US. UNKNOWN
>BANDS HAVE TO BE REALLY FUCKING ENTERTAINING TO GET SPACE WITH US.
>
>>S: So you still haven't told me how long before you go to press. How
>>are you
>>distributing? I assume you plan to try to put it on n newsstands
>>and sells
>>subs – or will you just be putting them out free and hope to pay
>>for
>>publishing thru advertising? Sounded like you said unless it sells
>>it flops
>>and you go back to your day job. So then, you are the paid
>>employee – the
>>one and only – and with the most at stake other than Lee, who is
>>putting up
>>the money and handling the publishing side of things. Right? So
>>is it
>>going to be glossy color cover but cheaper newsprint inside. What
>>will it
>>look like overall?
>
>N: TOWER RECORDS, BARNES AND NOBLE, DIAMOND, COMIC STORES. GLOSSY
>COVER,
>WHITE WEAVE INTERIOR, POLYBAGGED WITH COMP CD. CHECK OUT
>LOFIENTERTAINMENT.COM/TRASHED.
>
>>S: I don't know if you'll be open to my introductory rant/editorial,
>>but I
>>certainly plan on using a masthead position as a guarantee I can
>>say my
>>piece in your pages. See you obviously have some reverence for GG,
>>so you
>>might not dig the place I take this – but since I'm only willing to
>>go so
>>far into the world of raunch and scumminess – well let me write a
>>short
>>version and if you give me the greenlight I'll expand this.
>
>N: I'M NOT CERTAIN AS TO WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.
>
>>S: I mentioned the Derby Dolls above – I assume you wouldn't mind a
>>feature on
>>them – the tough chicks who've resurrected roller derby . It's
>>pretty big
>>out here amongst the rock kids.
>
>N: NEVER HEARD OF THEM. MAYBE THAT COULD GOOD. SELL IT TO ME.
>
>>S: Then there's the weird lofi psychobilly one man band, Hasil Adkins
>>wannabe
>>over there in Switzerland
>
>N: ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE REVEREND BEATMAN? I LOVE THAT GUY.
>
>>S: Now here is what I need from you – if you're not gonna print em up
>>and mail
>>'em to me (though I wish you would- as a show of good faith re: my
>>hiring.
>>I need business cards and other info for soliciting.
>
>N: I HAD MY OWN BUSINESS CARDS PRINTED UP FROM VISTAPRINT.COM. THEY DO
>IT FOR FREE IF YOU PAY FOR SHIPPING. KEEP IN MIND I STILL AM NOT
>SURE
>YOU KNOW HOW TO WRITE IN THE STYLE WE'RE USING. I THOUGHT YOUR RANT
>WAS BORING. CAN YOU WRITE HUMOR?
>
>IF YOU'RE DOWN THEN PLEASE WRITE A REVIEW OF A RECORD THAT WAS
>RELEASED SOMETIME IN THE PAST YEAR AND MAKE IT SO HUMOROUS THAT
>WE'LL
>LOL AND LMAO AND ROFL.

{I’ve had it with this schmuck now – so I more or less let him know it!}

No dude, I don't write humor. Basically, if you think my rant about GG was boring, which it may well be, then I doubt you'll have any use for the rest of my writing. I only have one style - I don't affect a style - and I'm definitely no comedian. Not that I don't care for humor - but only laugh out louds I ever get is from shit not trying to be funny.

The bit about the need for a rant like that is to set clear editorial guidelines where we stand - even if we don’t all stand in the same place - for instance - just cuz I said child molesters are worthy of death doesn’t mean I’m gonna go around killing them.

But he absolute most ridiculous thing you have said that tells me it really must have no clue that East and West always have a hard time understanding what is coolest in each other's scenes - or something - Is The Hologram suck badly - and they can’t hold a candle to the Binges - but they’ve been put on bills before. The Holograms may have improved since, I heard they got a new circle - but they’re the cute ironic silverlakey band trying to make it The binges are the play every week throwing beer out to the crowds and rocking super hard - something the Holograms never even attempt to do. I first heard both bands in early 05 when the local decent radio station (the one now famous for having all those rock celebs in tow) and it is mind-blowing to me how you see them as trashy - you think they’d make a video like the Binges did where they’re mixing it up with the homeless people who happened to be near where they show - the jap girls are probably friends with each other - who knows - but no way can you have heard both and can claim Holograms are worthy and Binges aren’t - if that is the case our tastes couldn’t be more different.

So what is left, Well you do know who Lightning Beatman is. You didn’t say anything about the other groups : Van Stone or hammerlock. Bottom-line though, if you want anything from me you've got to get over making trashed like mad magazine with a bunch of stoopid humor. I’ll do humor - Van Stone is humor –


{Below Nicholas uses the same technique of interspersing replies with stuff I said – but I dobn’t need to initial each paragraph because you just read my enbd in its entirety – that was my last word so to speak}

: Nicholas Gazin
Sent : Tuesday, August 22, 2006 7:58 AM
To : "Shane Flipside"
Subject : Re: Re: Re: RE: Trashed Magazine



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No dude, I don't write humor.
THAT'S A PROBLEM. I THOUGHT LEE TOLD YOU THAT THIS IS A HUMOR/ROCK MAG

just cuz I said child molesters are worthy of death doesn't
mean I'm gonna go around killing them.

?

East and West always have a hard time understanding
what is coolest in each other's scenes

THERE ISN'T ANY REAL SCENE IN NEW YORK. ALL THE CLUBS ARE SHUTTING DOWN.
can claim Holograms are worthy and Binges aren't - if that is the case our
tastes couldn't be more different.
SORRY DUDE, TO US, THE HOLOGRAMS ARE FUN POP AND THEIR RECORD IS
GREAT. TO US THE HOLOGRAMS ARE INREDIBLY SEXY AND FUN AND THE BINGES
SOUND LIKE TWENTY OTHER BANDS WE DON'T CARE ABOUT. THAT'S HOW IT IS.
So what is left, Well you do know who Lightning Beatman is. You didn't say
anything about the other groups : Van Stone or hammerlock. Bottom-line
though, if you want anything from me you've got to get over making trashed
like mad magazine with a bunch of stoopid humor.

I THINK YOU NEED TO POOL YOUR CAPITAL AND START YOUR OWN MAGAZINE.
THE ENTIRE POINT OF TRASHED IS THAT ROCK JOURNALISM IS BORING AND
WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF IT.

I'll do humor - Van Stone
is humor

VAN STONE IS A LAME UPDATE OF GWAR.

Anyhow I thought my rant was really
required to offset what is going to be a mag born to not be afraid to push
buttons and get people angry - I wasn't even trying to be politically
correct - just stating my mano a mano feelings re: GG.

THERE'S NOTHING ORIGINAL ABOUT THINKING GG SUCKS. MOST PEOPLE WHO
CARE ENOUGH TO CONSIDER GG THINK HE SUCKS. AND HE'S DEAD NOW SO IT'S
PRETTY SAFE TO SAY YOU DON'T LIKE HIM. THE ARTICLE WAS THREE TIMES AS
LONG AS IT NEEDED TO BE TO EXPRESS IDEAS THAT NO LONGER HAVE A BEARING
ON ANYTHING.

I think
you're out of your mind if you think more people will pick up a mag with the
current line-up of The Misfits on it before they would the Unknown Binges -

IF YOU'RE REFERRING TO PEOPLE WHO RUN RECORD STORES AND WRITE FOR ROCK
ZINES THEN IT'S TRUE, THOSE FOLKS WOULDN'T BUY IT. EVERYONE ELSE IN
THE WORLD WOULD. BUT WE'RE NOT FEATURING THE CURRENT MISFITS. WE'RE
DOING A STORY ON FORMER MEMBERS OF THE MISFITS AND HOW MUCH THEY ALL
HATE EACH OTHER.
up with The Holograms as a band to cover in the initial issue. That is so
weird to me.

I THOUGHT THE BINGES WERE BORING LOOKING AND BORING SOUNDING. I
THOUGHT THE HOLOGRAMS WERE INTERESTING LOOKING AND MADE ME WANT TO
DANCE. I DID THE INTERVIEW WITH THE HOLOGRAMS.
I have half a mind to gather up all the exchange between us and see what Lee
thinks

LEE HAS A JOB. HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO READ THIS KIND OF STUFF.
SHOULD YOU SEND IT TO HIM HE'LL JUST FORWARD IT TO ME. I AM THE
EDITOR IN CHIEF.

- cuz instead of Mister Master I'm getting ready to call you Mastur
Bator for jacking off instead of doing this sucker up right.

ROCK AND ROLL, OLD MAN.

But hey, he
obviously is on the same page with you so I'm not gonna bother - so do me
this favor - quit dicking around you know who I am

I ACTUALLY HAVE NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE EXCEPT FOR THIS DIALOGUE. I'VE
HEARD OF FLIPSIDE BUT NEVER SEEN A COPY. THE NINETIES WERE A LONG
TIME AGO AND YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT, DONNY.
as is or not - the only demand I have is that you run the Binges things

SUBMIT THE ARTICLE AND IF IT'S PRINTABLE WE'LL USE IT. IF NOT WE WON'T.
To bring up The Fuzztones or The Cynics as big name bands is kind of a joke
– yes they are known to us garage fans of the last 20 plus years

THIS IS A MAGAZINE THAT'S CENTERED AROUND GARAGE ROCK. GARAGE ROCK,
AND ALL ROCK, IS A NOSTALGIA TRIP THESE DAYS. WE'RE WRITING ABOUT
BANDS WE LIKE. WE'RE ALSO DOING A STORY ON QUESTION MARK AND THE
MYSTERIANS. IF WE CAN GET DAVIE ALLAN WE'LL GET HIM TOO.
Yeah, I can get my own cards if I have to – but you didn't suggest what logo
or lettering I should use to make it official looking or make it truly
trashed

I DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO BELIEVE AT THIS POINT THAT YOU HAVE ANY
REASON TO BE INVOLVED WITH US.
As far as my cover idea being bad – I said myself small popup pics wouldn't
look good with an illustration - but I've certainly seen decent mag covers
that did what I said

THAT'S GREAT. I HAVEN'T.

– had one big pic and some smaller ones all on the
cover. Creem used to do it frequently – and in our wildest dreams we'll
never bet Creem in their heyday.

COMPARING A MODERN PRINT PUBLICATION TO ONE FROM THE 60S, 70S,80S OR
EVEN THE EARLY 90S IS LUDICROUS. THE INTERNET HAS NOT ONLY MADE WHAT
WE'RE DOING OBSOLETE BUT IT'S MADE THE IDEA OF MUSIC SCENES OBSOLETE.
WE'LL NEVER COVER NEW BANDS THAT ARE THE CALIBER OF THE ONES THAT
CREEM COVERED AND NOT ONL ROCK AND ROLL IS A RETRO ACT AND SO ARE
MUSIC FANZINES. WE ARE LIVING IN THE PAST AND WE KNOW IT.

SHANE, I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF YOU BEFORE GETTING YOUR EMAIL FORWARDED
TO ME FROM LEE BUT YOU SEEM TO BE THE KIND OF JOURNALIST WE'RE MAKING
FUN OF WITH THIS MAGAZINE SO IT WOULD BE CRUEL TO GET YOU INVOLVED
WITH IT. IF YOU WANT TO FORWARD ME THE BINGES ARTICLE I'LL LOOK IT
OVER BUT I DON'T THINK WE CAN USE YOU SINCE YOU'VE GOT A GIANT CHIP ON
YOUR SHOULDER.

SINCERELY,

NICHOLAS

Graphics I like. Wish me luck in getting this blog looking nice, design ain't me strong point!

These three items all resonate within my wicked (or nowadays that'd be wiki'd) soul: The laboriously typed out "satanic" images - actually the whole horns thing is more Pan worship than biblical shit. Then there's the trademark stamp for the best H - before I die I'd love to see the real deal -- but people who actually love and indulge in the shit rarely get to see kilos - maybe I can be the exception to that rule. Last but not least is a Turkish book's flyleaf depicting an opium smoker. I know doing it via pipe - RIGHT - is probably one of the most euphoric experiences known to man - but I'd be happy to swallow pellets or from O tea and to give my lungs a rest! So throwing these up here is just my way of saying what is important to me

Here it comes, NUMBAH 2

Shaneshit

Here it comes, blog posting #2, and still nothing but plain text. What a slacker I am. Bottom line, is like I said in the first entry (I hope) - I'm gonna go back over these past months and write about as they happened, while still trying to get caught up on the new stuff as it’s happening. Main new stuff going on with me is my first zine writing since expiration {when you no longer owe parole, that is the technical term for finishing a sentence – “day for day” being the colloquial speak. Funny that, calling the end of a prison the same thing as death. The patient expired, but this prisoner did not … yet. Ha! But maybe that makes sense – maybe if the Big O is also the little d (petit morte = little death, then Big P(arole) = Medium size necrosis, right?)} appeared in Big Wheel, the August issue. It was a band profile on The Binges, who I know I recommended to my readers here last post -- and I just checked the link and it does indeed take you to their vid - so hurry up and rock out to it!! What might end up being even cooler, we'll see - is a possibility I'll be the west coast guy-to-go-to for a new mag launching soon. I guess till I'm firmly ensconced on the masthead I'll keep it kinda hush hush. But for sure mentioning it helps me segue to my bad experience the other night. Not bad like its awful I was treated that way - just bad as in: “Is human nature really that fucked up (that's a rhetorical question mind you).” Yeah, so I was getting out kinda late (which happens all the time as I’m sure I'll explain ,describe and lament numerous times through the existence of this blog) and as often happens, the choices in LA were numerous. I found out later I had fucked up -- I should have raced over to Safari Sam's to catch Agent Orange. I figured Sam’s for the music being over by 12:30 there, but they went on late. What with Channel 3 on the bill too bringing a pretty packed house. But I was thinking with a one-track mind that I needed to see The Supersuckers again, having caught them a few months back at the Troubadour. So I took off to the Viper Room. So I’ve been back on the set awhile, not a year yet - but ten months or so - and though it’s in the heart of Hollywood I haven’t been there yet. The deal is - that isn't even that bizarre of a fact -- there are plenty of clubs that fit that bill right off the top of my head. The Gig, The Joint, The Cat Club - mainly because there is no one there I want to see - not having heard of the bands isn't always a deterrent - but obviously things I know a little about are of more interest than just a name - and with so many gazilions of bands in LA, some clubs seem to specialize in the ones that are flying under everyone’s radar - even fans of the genres featured most. Probably also pay-to-play going on at some of these, which always brings out the mediocrities.

Hnnmm - back to my story - I’d avoided the Viper Room because it is notorious for its attitude. It is bad enough that the whole club is set up along the lines of the celebrity viewing and grooving areas - and where the hoi polloi must assemble. But gratuitous rudeness is the norm there, or so I’d heard. No, or so I experienced - because when I went up to the entrance a woman with a clipboard was grooving a couple and taking their email - she was obviously someone’s publicity maven - but when I tried to engage her repartee perhaps gaining me admission for my writing duties - or even just a "Hey if the band is half over can we get in for half price?” -- but before I could do anything but rattle that off, she was begging off, and telling me to talk to the door guy - who was nowhere around. When I refused to cease and desist an attempted conversation she told me she didn’t care who I knew or who I blew that she wasn’t letting me in, or maybe it was just the vulgarity with her reiterating I had to wait for the doorman. There was only a small line - basically some bewildered looking dudes who were wondering why they’d been standing there waiting to pay. Sure enough that practice of The Viper is also notorious: they like to leave a few people waiting behind a mini-rope - to look packed and popular I guess. The doorman got back and of course begged off himself about the power to groove anyone - but he also reminded me that that shit was taken care of up the hall by the cashier. So why wasn't he letting people in when the band was 20 minutes into their set? So fuck, the poor doorman is not as big of a tool as the chick if merely because of his bemused rather than exasperated expression. A third character gets involved - he is obviously in one of the bands - I recognize his fucking ass - he is a rock and roll somebody - He immediately gets people who'd just walked up through the rope. The ice being momentarily broken The doorman starts to let in peopl e who will pay. And as me and the guy with me went up the hallway to a point (I’m not sure who hollered up)they let ‘em know again that it was the couple in front of us that were getting in free; they said out loud, loudly, how these two gentlemen had money for her - sure thing - NOT. The c*nt not only had the attitude down - but she may even have just seen how far she could push it. Cuz when I said the band was half through their set and she could at least give us a discount she told me, “No, it’s forty bucks” -- I couldn’t believe my ears, then I thought I may have remembered the tickets going for 25 - so I thought maybe she meant 40 for the both of us - but she said no - it was a piece. Needless to say we left and as we did I was grousing to the assembled cast of three characters I've described how not only didn’t we possess this money they’d promised the cashier - but that it was a damned shame I wouldn’t be able to get the band high afterwards thanks to their assholiness (forget what term I used – probably just mumbled “…and I was going to get them high…” as I walked by - cuz I knew that would produce the fear of god in anyone standing in the way of a band and their good times - and sure enough the rocker realized that and jokingly asked me what do you have 4 good looking babes in your pocket I can’t see or something and I just said waddya think and kept trucking - and I heard him tell the other two as I made my departure - man -and I was thinking of letting him in. Yeah, right - I don't think he knew I was with the other dude - but then again it was probably the other dude’s fault they thought we were moneyed types who needed to pay - but explaining why that is ain’t happening right here - instead I'm racing to the conclusion of the night to say that we got to contribute our cash to the scene ANYWAY, because I couldn’t even get us a discount at The Echo, and it was more than it usually is there because this weekend was the Fuck Yeah Fest - with scads of bands all days -- booked (curated even - since there was whole carnival’s worth of shit) by Keith Morris. We got there in time for the last portion of The Bronx, and then Keith Morris came on in a silly rocker wig so they could discard it mid-first song - I wonder when and where he picked up that shtick? Cuz I saw Arthur Lee of Love do that - considering that gentleman just died, could this have been in tribute to him. I kinda doubt it, but the next time you or I see Keith, let’s try to remember to ask him. Keith Morris of the Circle Jerks having famously been more than just another guy from a seminal band - but someone involved in the scene and going out and seeing bands. Still caring about the music. Unfortunately he also still cares so much about politics (to pick a word that more or less applies) -- and so it is obvious that no matter how much he loves singing to his audience - he likes ranting to them about ethical issues even more. To highlight how ineffectual he probably was - he is the guy running the show over the whole three day wingding – and mid-set he announces that some people got kicked out for over enthusiasm in the pit - and then he starts to say that is fucked up- at first I thought he was going to lecture the audience about fighting - but it seemed he was accusing the club of ejecting guys who really didn't deserve it but were just boys being boys - so if that is how he felt he didn’t do much when the bounders snagged a couple more and ejected them a song or two later. From what I saw the bouncers were the smart ones looking to relax mainly so they actually ejected the right asshole who kept being too aggro - instead of themselves getting overly physical and provoking bad feeling - but that means that Keith didn’t know what he was talking about AND he couldn’t have done anything about it if he had have - my point bring - if that is true in the microcosm of the scene at the club -- how can he change/police/even affect any shadow on/in the macrocosm. I wish him luck though he is obviously a sweet guy, and the Circle Jerks rock as hard as ever - I mean maybe it isn’t quite what seeing the original line-up in '80 was like - but it wasn’t like they embarrassed themselves after airing set by a tough band like The Bronx. Speaking of The Bronx, Id really like to know what the singer’s deal is. He seems like a nice guy - and trying to emphasize the compatibility of intense dancing without being a dick he jumps in the pit during his band and other people’s as well - so he is obviously the real deal in that respect - what I can’t figure out is why they called their label White Drugs (whatever major they're on gave 'em the label as part of signing I think) if they don't get high - and if they do. Well why did the singer tell me he would smoke with me after his set, and then afterwards when I broached it he actually got defensive like I ought to leave him alone to try and have a good time...No problem boy - but I know he didn’t take me for some totally besotted fan - and if he was telling the truth when he first said he would blaze with me later, then why the turnabout to the point of bristling at my reminder? Probably never now cuz I don't vase much - I see him around (though i guess they'll be gone forever on tour starting soon) and it aint like he' pulled me over to cash in the rain check. I will say that after seeing them twice headlining that I cant imagine them sucking - but that they'll never be in the top ranks of my faves just because there is some element missing - maybe its that the guy is asexual like Ian Mackaye - and so that guy singing for the guys thing is too male-bonding. I never did care all that much for Seven Seconds because of the preeminence of that BS - but when 999 sang “Feeling Alright With The Crew” I was all with that - hmm. Anyhow, The Bronx singer seems like neither as big of an arse as Rollins or Mackaye when they're being themselves - and I kinda doubt he'll end up like his Mentor Keith of the Jerks - lecturing between songs. In closing, they're good but not great. Finest moment was when I even fell for the idiotic provincialism (neighborhoodissimo ?) of him telling us this one song was only for those of us born and raised in LA and that everyone else could fuck off. Since I am….

So that now that I’ve said my piece I can go onto closing this entry out. I feel like I need to throw something in here - so I’m gonna try to put a nice little graphic image or three - some I stole from my boy Mick at Doc 40. Got to figure out how to do it. Fuck, I need to know HTML – this is lame!

My first ever blog posting. Rock ON!

Finally, the journey begins. Believe it or not I've had the blog named (of course) and "created" (registered with Blogger) for weeks; but I'm just now making this first posting. Then again I've had my computer for more than 6 months without starting my own. Big deal. But here's the point: for 15 years I wrote for a print pfanzine, Los Angeles's Flipside. When it tragically (for me) discorporated in about 2001, it left me adrift in the gulag without a position or a role to play other than finish my damn time up. Finally I raise up last fall. Amazingly enough neither I nor the world have changed all that much. Hey, maybe I'll be eating my words or at least contradicting myself as I draw all kinds of distinctions between then and now as the blog continues -- but what I'm getting at is that my interest in sex drugs and rock and roll and the manifestation of that interest in me being a club-going rockin' lounge lizard. Ain't nothing changed in that regard and there are sure plenty of clubs and bands and all that. But -- there is also myspace and podcasts and all that stuff - and thanks to my model of doing time being the dentists' office (all I do is wait and read magazines), I'm actually not that far behind in the computer literacy bit. I mean after all, the gulag did teach me programming back in the mainframe & COBOL days, and has given me plenty of opportunities to use computers to do all the clerical work the guards and administators are usually too dull to accomplish themselves.

Anyhow - I've been a selfish bastard since I've been back out -- reading everyone else's blogs and downloading everyone else's mp3's. But my goal to write a book - or better yet become a the #1 famous ex-con crime consultant to Hollywood now that the Eddie's are dead and gone (Bunker and Little) hasn't panned out yet -- so what the hey -- I'm gonna blog instead and maybe I'll spill the beans little by little about the same shit I would have or maybe still will write a book about -- but for now the blog called Shaneshit is going to take the place of the column called Shaneshit that appeared in Flipside circa 87 thru 01 (my letters and occasional contributuons appeared circa 76 - 86 as well). So I'll be talking almost exclusively about what bands I saw at which clubs - and maybe just maybe there will end up being enough photos and graphics and mp3s and links to youtube etc. that someone will bother to scroll by my text to get at 'em. So that is what this first posting is all about. My statement of intent. I'm back with a bang, but I ain't skrewed up in the head cuz got me hair mate and I luv everyone and thats L U V -- l u v the way the Dolls meant it. I'm trying to be obscurantist and a bit punny -- definitely time to sign off. If I can't figure out how to put in the sidebar with all the blogs I wish to link to; let me put right here in my first posting the two sites I suggest you go to first once you leave mine. They are Mick Farren's DOC 40 and Greg L.'s Sex Kittens Compare Scratches.

http://sexkittenscratches.blogspot.com/

&

http://doc40.blogspot.com/

And I might as well get this off my chest right now: The Binges rule!!!!!!!! Let me see if I can figure out how to put their picture right here or link to their video or something. Then I can honestly say my first posting was cool!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwLkIhpeBbc


I hope that link works! I will be writing lots more about them, as I feel an almost chivalric duty to boost them -- it is weird. I'll explain later -- just check out my first piece of print writing which is in August 2006's Big Wheel. It, of course, is a band profile on The Binges. Maybe I'll reproduce it here or link to it somehow on my next blog posting: For now: Rock On Los Angeles Rock ON!! The rest of the world too of course. Yeah hup!!